And the wait is on....again

Once again I waited for him and he didn't come online, no word from him today either, I know he wasn't feeling well, but he could have called.  I guess I could have also, but I don't always want to be the one doing the chasing.  What to do.....wait I guess. Nothing else I can do.  I hate it, but what can I do?  Today the loneliness got the best of me.  It has for a few days, I think and think and think and the more I think, the more I hate the situation, but I love him, how can I deny that? I need to call him, hear his voice, but I can't tell him how I feel.  He understands, I know he does, but what is he going to say, what do I want to hear? Sure, go find someone else until I get back...as nice as it would be to get an ok from him, is that really what I want to hear?  Honestly, I don't know.  And how do I know that I won't date someone and have feelings for him?  I don't know, and frankly, it scares me.  As much as I know I love him and want to be with him, that's how much I don't know.  It makes sense in my head, trust me, lol.  I guess all I can do is wait until he gets back, date him steadily again and see how it goes.  I know God has a plan for me, I have been sure that my plan was to be with Isaac and I am still fairly certain, I just get distracted and I need to stop putting myself in situations where I can be distracted.  Distraction can be a good thing some times, but for me, it can be a dangerous thing also.  What to do, what to do...it is times like this when I wish I had a crystal ball.  Right now I am tired, in pain, physical pain, I am emotionally drained, and I am confused.  Probably the best thing for me is sleep, so I will take my own advice.