Monday blues

I find I have the blues a lot, but Mondays are the worst!  The fun of the weekend is over and I have nothing to look forward to this week, just homework, housework and bored kids.  And counting down to the next weekend.  Lucky for me, I have a great new friend to hang out with on the weekend, we keep each other company, so it is fun.  As much as I like my friend, I would much rather be spending the weekend doing fun stuff with Isaac, yes, I am blue because of him, what else is new?  I am hoping he will be home later, as much as I don't like calling the house, I am, I have to see if he is home and ok.  I have been worried about him all weekend.  Even though we were having fun, I was still thinking about him, my friend knew that too, he is very in my head, he knew I was only partially there.  I like my friend a lot, and if things were different, I would try very, very hard to be his girlfriend, but things are the way they are, and it is not possible, for either of us.  Probably never will be either.  People tell me that anything can happen, and yes, I believe that too, but he is not ready to date, and I am hopelessly in love with someone else, so why lie?  I care very much for him, and yes, I am very attracted to him, but as he tells me all the time, sex would complicate everything and we would lose out friendship.  And I am not willing to do that right now.  He is very respectful of women, so even though he has been burned, he could not just casually sleep with me, which is awesome, takes so much pressure off everything.  He allows me to be me, only one other person is like that.  I can't even be me around my family, how sad is that?  He has a dark past like I have, it is not the same, but we both have ghosts we fight daily.  I admire him, he is trying his best to make it, I wish I could say that about me.  So I find myself in a funk today....not quite sure what to do with myself, I have been listening to music most of the day, kind of just floating around, not doing too much, not wanting to eat, not wanting to sleep, just wanting to, you know, I don't even know what I want to do....run away maybe?  Doesn't sound like a bad idea, who wants to come with me??